Category Archives: Love

Non-Monogamy Didn’t Ruin My Marriage

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As a bisexual woman, I already contend with stigmas concerning my sexuality. Bisexual individuals are often “branded as greedy or illegitimate or it’s claimed that those who identify this way are merely in flux before settling at one end of the hetero/homo binary.” These stereotypes have thankfully waned some in recent years, especially with more and more people, including celebrities, coming out as bisexual. Evan Rachel Wood, one of my biggest idols, opened up to Marie Claire about her sexuality, saying, “I can’t say I’m one way or the other because I’ve honestly fallen in love with a man and I’ve honestly fallen in love with a woman. I don’t know how you label that, it’s just how it is.” I was like, hell yes! Maybe mainstream America will finally get it.

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What 21 Couples Taught Me About Love

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“This can’t be right,” I mutter to myself.

I put my pen down to breathe. I am in serious need of oxygen here. Seeing all of this in list form makes my bleak situation look even worse. I’m turning 30 next week. 30!

What am I doing with my life? I don’t have a job. My boyfriend broke up with me over the phone a month ago, and I cry every time that song by Gotye, “Somebody That I Used To Know,” comes on the radio….

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Of Marriage Proposals And Porn

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Do you know what happens when you take sex and make it public? You get porn – stuff that people who aren’t getting enough sex drool over, and stuff that people who are sexually fulfilled smirk at, because they know how unrealistic it is.

Similarly, do you know what happens when you take a proposal and make it public? You get engagement porn – stuff that people who aren’t happy with their own relationships drool over, and stuff that people in fulfilling relationships smirk at, because they know how unrealistic it is.

Not that there’s anything wrong with porn.

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I Grew Up Thinking “I Know” Is How You Respond To “I Love You”

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As a piece of trivia, the original script actually called for Han to reply, “I love you, too.” However, Harrison Ford didn’t feel that Han, the swashbuckling, fearless bad boy, would ever say something so mushy. So he came up with “I know” on the spot, and romantic history was made.

Of course, as a seven-year-old boy, I wasn’t aware of this subtext. I wasn’t aware of the attitude that Han’s response represented. I just figured that he was expressing love the way men are supposed to express love.

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When A Man Has What It Takes

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One of the reasons I married my ex-husband is because I saw how he took care of his mother when she was sick. He not only quit his first major job out of college to move to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota with her for three months to take care of her (he was an only child, and she

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The Boy Who Only Wanted One Thing

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Theatre is sexy. Backstage is dimly lit, with the subtle glow of the onstage lights streaming through the dust of the wooden flats. There are dark corners and pre-determined soundless moments. It’s hot, too. Heat-hot from the lights, and sex-hot from the right chemistry and synchronicity. Give a couple of prepubescent teens two-and-a-half hours with minimal supervision off-stage, and the

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(Almost) Over You

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There it was, at the bottom of the tan purse I never wear: a grocery list from another life. Toothpaste Frozen dinners Diet Coke Ice cream Cheez-Its Oatmeal cookies I haven’t thought of buying Cheez-Its or oatmeal cookies since the day I moved out of your house. This list was pre-breakup. A year ago, finding this list would have been

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I Fell In Love Too Hard, Too Soon

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I am a stoic. In a new relationship, I tend to stay reserved and guarded. I hold back my feelings, and I definitely don’t let myself fall for someone very easily. At least not until I know for sure that the relationship means something. Some people, on the other hand, are effusive. In a new relationship, they plunge head-first off

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Sex Is The Most Important Part Of A Marriage

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Time magazine recently published two articles discussing new studies regarding sexual satisfaction, marriage and infidelity. While Time played up the “groundbreaking” nature of the results, I was not surprised. Shortly after my wedding, I came to the conclusion that sex is probably the most important aspect of marriage. That revelation wasn’t the result of any sexual dysfunction in my relationship, but

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Love Conquers All

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“I’m 95 percent positive that we’ll be canceling the wedding, and I wanted to see if we could get our deposit back,” I wrote that April day. This was the wedding venue for which I’d searched for months, the address that was printed eloquently on the invitations that were going out in just one week. This is where, in three

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No Romance For Me, Please

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Imagine the scene…. A balmy February evening with a luxurious yacht skimming along the water. On board are couples in love. To surprise Jane, John has two tickets for this Valentine’s Day moonlit cruise around the harbor. On the drive to the dock, John remains tight lipped, frustrating Jane. She anxiously clutches the bouquet of her favorite flowers, wondering what

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