Author Archives: Dennis Hong

The Cursable Case Of The Sneak-A-Break

The sneak-a-break is the ultimate indulgence of the chronically passive-aggressive. It’s the Red Ryder carbine-action, two-hundred-shot range model on the Christmas list of cowardice. The sneak-a-break occurs when the person you’re dating wants to break up, but instead of using a backbone, manipulates you into doing the breakup. The human fillet accomplishes this by turning antagonistic, needy, petty, pernicious, surly, edgy, sleazy, queasy, tipsy, dizzy, remorseful, or whatever it takes to drive you away.

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Five Signs Of The Guypocalypse

Isn’t it somewhat ironic that the term apocalypse could therefore refer to anything that women understand with ease, but which no man is able to comprehend? Come to think of it, there has to be a Guypocalypse out there: knowledge hidden from all manhood; information that only the fairer, finer, testosteronally-challenged members of humanity are privy to; things that may not spell the end of the world for a guy, but will nonetheless bewilder us to no end.

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How Awesome Are You?

Dating advice columns invariably recommend confidence as a key to impressing the opposite sex. Don’t self-deprecate. Talk yourself up. Confidence is a turn-on. Confidence is sexy. Well, hey, I totally agree. But, just as you can’t make yourself smell sexy by dousing your B.O. with cologne, you can’t make yourself more confident by drowning your low self-esteem in a sea of self-congratulation.

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Dennis’s Online Dating Dictionary

If you ask me, online dating is the romantic equivalent of eating at Denny’s: they give you a menu full of tantalizing photos and enticing descriptions, but that Grand Slam breakfast sitting in front of you never looks quite as good as the one on the menu. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you can’t ever enjoy a meal at

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