Hot Guy And Nice Guy Walk Into A Party

Photo by Brett Arthur via Flickr

Heads turned when this very Hot Guy walked into the Halloween party I attended this year. Dimples to the heavens, sparkling, mischievous eyes, and muscles a girl just can’t help but hang onto. Unfortunately, the illusion was quickly shattered by how obviously he wanted to get laid.

The first girl he struck up a conversation with hastily found a way out, groaning to us about how unattractive it is when a guy brings up sex within minutes of meeting. The rest of us concurred and didn’t bother conversing with him most of the night, though Hot Guy seemed to pervade the party.

Meanwhile two girls were in a flirting battle over the same “Nice” Guy, (who claimed to be single, but days later revealed that was just a part of his Halloween costume too), because he could actually hold his end of a conversation.

By the end of the night, Nice Guy was making out with one of the girls while two other girls were doing body shots off of Hot Guys’ very amazing abs. Apparently they had missed the incident of him ripping the police badge off a girl’s chest, getting slapped and throwing a drink at her.

Nice Guy went home with a girl’s number. Hot Guy got cockblocked by me, the designated driver, while he was trying to go home with one of the girls who had come later to the party and missed the drama. (The teacher in me was worried about the girl’s safety as he didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would take “no” for an answer and both he and the girl were pretty drunk. Being the only sober one, I would have felt responsible for anything bad happening.)

After she left, he wasn’t discouraged; he tried to convince the other girls in the van to keep his bed warm. He went home alone.

What a waste of that hot body. He was such a good-looking guy that if he’d had an ounce of tact, he could have had a lot of fun keeping his bed warm with any number of girls at that party, if not that night, then another one soon. I just felt like if I could have taken him by the hand and coached him through the party, I could have helped him get exactly what he wanted without him looking like such a chump. (Which I fully realize is ironic and hypocritical since I was the one who cockblocked him.)

Honesty is important, but if I were him, I would have toned down the desperation. Meeting a guy is, if not the goal for a single girl at a party, at least one of the excellent perks. When I meet single guys at a party or a bar, I’m subconsciously rating them on two scales: “Likelihood I’d want to date him” and “Likelihood I’d want to sleep with him.”

A really attractive guy doesn’t have to work that hard to stay on the high end of the “Likelihood I’d want to sleep with him” scale, even if he’s not even registering on the “Likelihood I’d want to date him” scale. However, one of the major factors that changes this is his ability to show discrimination.

I don’t want to sleep with a guy who will bang on every door in the city until he finds one that opens. Leading with sex is a turn off, because a girl wants to know a guy wants to sleep with her in particular, because he’s assessed her attributes and found them favorable, not merely because she’s breathing and there. I won’t qualify these attributes in anyway, because it fluctuates depending on what scale he’s on. I try to be fair, if I’m checking out his hot body, well, I’m not going to expect him to be interested in my personality.

I do think a guy should be honest about not wanting a relationship, but at a party where people are getting wasted and flirting sex is already on people’s minds, spelling it out at the beginning of a conversation isn’t necessary. If Hot Guy had spent more time chatting up different girls and then zoned in on one or two he was really interested in, he would have drastically increased his chances of sharing someone’s bed.

I know this, because I did kiss and give my phone number to a guy that night, not because he was incredibly irresistible, but because despite another girl totally flirting with him, he pursued me, just me. Sometimes that makes all the difference.

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  • What a shitload of girlish BS. You are a whore and you cannot make it seem less bad by justifying why you are one.

  • Alright so that’s sexism and slut-shaming. Niiiice.
    Slut-shaming is never justified. There is nothing whorish or even remotely bad about going to a party and looking for some fun. Just because you harbor some insecurities and don’t know how to get over it doesn’t mean that you can cut someone down that’s trying to do a service to other people.
    You ignored the entire point of the article and zoned in on the closing, where she talked about her own personal experiences. Taking an article out of context doesn’t help your point at all. And besides, taken out of context, there is still nothing offensive or alarming about kissing a guy and giving him your number. That’s not even a societal taboo, except in the most conservative of social scenes, i.e. not a flirty party.
    I know nobody should waste their time on you, just being an internet troll stuck on the bottom of the collective shoe of society, but it should be said that judging someone on what they like to do in their spare time is a deplorable activity.
    Meg, I’m a first time reader and just happened to come upon this piece. I think your writing is excellent and really makes a valid point. Don’t let this joker get to you. You aren’t a “whore,” even though using that term derogatorily is still offensive, but I’m sure you’re confident enough in yourself not to worry about that.

  • This was a good read and very instructing to me. I’m pretty much the nemesis of the hot guy you described : I never talk about sex with a girl I don’t know very well, and the first thing I look for in a girl I want to sleep with is personality.

    I guess my only common point with Generic Hot Guy is that we both want to get laid indiscriminately with any remotely hot girl. But that’s probably the only thing that matters anyway.

  • For the record, I never said I was looking to get laid at the party. 🙂 Not really my modus operandi. However, I know there are people like the “Hot Guy” in my story who are looking for that and I thought I’d just give them a little insight.

    • Unfortunately, if someone is as stupid as the “Hot Guy”, not only is he unlikely to read this article, but also if he does, most likely he’ll miss the point… Then again, you did “gain” a troll, so hopefully I’m wrong 😉

  • you are scum

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