Musings on Life and Love

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I am just one of the hundreds of thousands of travelers stranded by Iceland’s volcano, Eyjafjallajokull, or as I like to call it, “Eyja<expletive><expletive>.” But, I am part of an even bigger fraternity. I am just one of the billions of people who have been stranded, dumped and rejected.

You may ask what these two groups have in common. Well, let’s put it this way, I have spent the last week frantically checking every internet site regarding airports, travel, airlines, volcanoes and weather. I have hit refresh on my web-browser every few minutes with the hopes that new information is available. I have sent countless emails making plans, canceling plans, rescheduling plans, and re-canceling plans. I have checked my email every half hour and updated my Facebook and Skype statuses with each bit of hopeful information. I’m an emotional basket case.

Now, let’s jump back a few years. It’s Easter Sunday, and my boyfriend of two years dumps me. I’m sitting in a puddle of my own self-pity, unable to leave my bedroom because I’ll have to tell my roommates what just happened. So, what do I do? I check my email. Maybe he’s changed his mind and written me a love letter. I check mutual social networking websites. Maybe he’s online, writing me said love letter. I check my cell phone. Maybe he called while I was sobbing in the shower and didn’t hear my phone ring. I’m an emotional basket case.

Hope. It’s one of the nastier four-letter words out there. Read more…

Photo courtesy of the State Library of New South Wales

Grief. It affects us all, in some form or another. Unless you pass through life in a catatonic state, it’s going to hit you someday, and you will be completely blindsided. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, or a particularly nasty breakup, or even breaking a nail (I don’t know, it could be a really nice nail…), pain is inevitable. Life is pain. Anyone who says different…. *Ahem.*

The point is, everyone hurts. It’s how you deal with it that makes you who you are. I’ve had people tell me that everyone deals with pain differently, and while that may be true to some extent, I don’t entirely believe it. Just from my experience, there are certain modes people fall back upon to deal with grief. Some people deal with it using drugs or alcohol. Some fall into depression. Some people take it out on other people. Some just stop living.

There are the people who use it for good, who take their grief and turn it into something that helps others, and then there are the people on the opposite end of the spectrum who take it and hold onto it, using it as an excuse for their bitterness and lash out at anyone and everyone who comes near them. Read more…

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Ashley is a smart woman—a software developer, in fact. She’s attractive, she’s athletic, she’s outgoing, and she’s witty. And now that I’ve opened this story by telling you how smart, attractive, athletic, outgoing, and witty Ashley is, you can probably guess where this abject tale is headed….

You see, Ashley also happens to be hopelessly infatuated with Martin, a man she has been sharing the stuffing with for over a year now, and yet, a man who refuses to commit to her. As reasons for his waffling, he explains that he barely survived the bitter and traumatic breakup with his last girlfriend. He is still recovering from the experience, he reveals, and he just doesn’t know if he is ready to get involved in a serious relationship.

Ashley assures Martin that she understands. She tells him to take as much time as he needs. She will be supportive, and she will be patient. In the meantime, they continue to see each other once or twice each week, and she continues to let him candy her yams with each soiree. Read more…