Photo by Brett Arthur via Flickr
Heads turned when this very Hot Guy walked into the Halloween party I attended this year. Dimples to the heavens, sparkling, mischievous eyes, and muscles a girl just can’t help but hang onto. Unfortunately, the illusion was quickly shattered by how obviously he wanted to get laid.
The first girl he struck up a conversation with hastily found a way out, groaning to us about how unattractive it is when a guy brings up sex within minutes of meeting. The rest of us concurred and didn’t bother conversing with him most of the night, though Hot Guy seemed to pervade the party.
Meanwhile two girls were in a flirting battle over the same “Nice” Guy, (who claimed to be single, but days later revealed that was just a part of his Halloween costume too), because he could actually hold his end of a conversation.
By the end of the night, Nice Guy was making out with one of the girls while two other girls were doing body shots off of Hot Guys’ very amazing abs. Apparently they had missed the incident of him ripping the police badge off a girl’s chest, getting slapped and throwing a drink at her.
Nice Guy went home with a girl’s number. Hot Guy got cockblocked by me, the designated driver, while he was trying to go home with one of the girls who had come later to the party and missed the drama. (The teacher in me was worried about the girl’s safety as he didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would take “no” for an answer and both he and the girl were pretty drunk. Being the only sober one, I would have felt responsible for anything bad happening.)
After she left, he wasn’t discouraged; he tried to convince the other girls in the van to keep his bed warm. He went home alone.
What a waste of that hot body. He was such a good-looking guy that if he’d had an ounce of tact, he could have had a lot of fun keeping his bed warm with any number of girls at that party, if not that night, then another one soon. I just felt like if I could have taken him by the hand and coached him through the party, I could have helped him get exactly what he wanted without him looking like such a chump. (Which I fully realize is ironic and hypocritical since I was the one who cockblocked him.)
Honesty is important, but if I were him, I would have toned down the desperation. Meeting a guy is, if not the goal for a single girl at a party, at least one of the excellent perks. When I meet single guys at a party or a bar, I’m subconsciously rating them on two scales: “Likelihood I’d want to date him” and “Likelihood I’d want to sleep with him.”
A really attractive guy doesn’t have to work that hard to stay on the high end of the “Likelihood I’d want to sleep with him” scale, even if he’s not even registering on the “Likelihood I’d want to date him” scale. However, one of the major factors that changes this is his ability to show discrimination.
I don’t want to sleep with a guy who will bang on every door in the city until he finds one that opens. Leading with sex is a turn off, because a girl wants to know a guy wants to sleep with her in particular, because he’s assessed her attributes and found them favorable, not merely because she’s breathing and there. I won’t qualify these attributes in anyway, because it fluctuates depending on what scale he’s on. I try to be fair, if I’m checking out his hot body, well, I’m not going to expect him to be interested in my personality.
I do think a guy should be honest about not wanting a relationship, but at a party where people are getting wasted and flirting sex is already on people’s minds, spelling it out at the beginning of a conversation isn’t necessary. If Hot Guy had spent more time chatting up different girls and then zoned in on one or two he was really interested in, he would have drastically increased his chances of sharing someone’s bed.
I know this, because I did kiss and give my phone number to a guy that night, not because he was incredibly irresistible, but because despite another girl totally flirting with him, he pursued me, just me. Sometimes that makes all the difference.