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Do you know the worst part about getting back together with an ex?
You might not get any sympathy from your friends when she breaks your heart a second time.
I love the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I love how it portrays a breakup from the perspective of the guy. As some of my friends will affirm between snickers and rolled eyes, I’ve been that guy. I’ve been the guy who’s too much of a wreck to get on with his life. I’ve been the guy curled up on the floor, bawling at the top of his lungs. I’ve been the guy who pines for his ex while dating someone else (sadly, I think some girls will affirm this last one about me, too).
I’ve always despised this side of myself, but I’ve also noticed that it’s becoming more and more acceptable for guys to be emotional now. It’s finally getting to be okay for guys to cry when they go through a breakup. That’s right, bring on the waterworks.
I’m also grateful for the support that I’ve found over the years. Some of the closest friendships I have today came about because, when I was at my lowest, I needed to reach out to someone, and I found someone willing to reach back. After all, it’s hard to be a guy and admit that you want to cry. It’s even harder to be a guy and find a buddy who will let you cry, sit there with you while you whimper, and not make fun of you… excessively. (As guys, we know that some amount of making fun of is mandatory.)
If not for the bouts of broken-heartedness that I’ve weathered over the years, I’m not sure I would know who these friends are. Yes, I’m definitely glad to have buddies who can make me feel better while they call me a pansy-ass wuss.
At the same time, friendships often come with caveats. And in my latest round of heart-mending, I’m starting to worry about caveats. I’m no longer embarrassed to admit that I’ve cried over a girl. I am, however, embarrassed to admit that… well, this is the second time I’ve had to get over someone a second time.
Pathetically, that’s not a redundancy typo. You see, this is the second time now that I’ve had my heart broken, reconciled, had my heart broken again, and had to get over her again. Think I would’ve learned my lesson by now? Well, I must’ve flunked How to Get Over Someone 101 because I find myself having to repeat the entire course.
My friends have already seen me cry over her. They’ve helped me through my depression. They’ve been patient with me. They’ve been understanding and compassionate. And they were glad to see me recover. Well, I’m afraid they may not want to do this for me again. Not for the same girl, anyway. And certainly not for the fact that this is the second girl I’ve had to get over twice. I may be on my own this time. That is, unless I happen to enjoy hearing “what were you thinking?” and “I told you so!” Or the always comforting “do you ever learn?!?”
So, the next time you consider getting back together with an ex, perhaps you will remember the lesson that I’m expecting my “tough love” friends to cram down my throat any day now:
There’s no crying the second time around.
Oh, and what the hell were you thinking?