Six (Billion) Simple Rules Guaranteed To Help You Find The “One”!
A female friend of mine recently said something to the effect that “guys want you to reject them the first few times. If you move too fast, they’ll lose interest in you.”
Her comments—and the blanket statements that she loves to make about men—really got me to thinking. Are there any hard and fast rules about dating? Are there any universal laws and truths about men (or women, for that matter)? Can we break down male behavior into five, or fifty, or even five hundred simple rules that every woman can apply across the spectrum to help her find her perfect man?
And how many small island nations could I afford to buy if I discovered these rules?
As I see it, if the easy solution were out there, we would’ve found it by now. If there really were a concrete set of rules that women can apply to all men, then wouldn’t you think that everyone would soon learn about them, and therefore every woman in the world should have found her ideal man by this point?
To me, dating is like a poker game. Sure, we can learn the basic rules of poker, and the more we play, the more we understand the game. Nevertheless, every game is a unique one in itself, with a unique set of players and a unique set of circumstances involving both luck and skill. The better we understand the game, the better we’ll perform in the long run. But, we will be guaranteed to lose if we attempt to play poker by rote, just as we will be guaranteed to lose if we attempt to date by rote.
I will never profess to be the Maestro of Manhood, or the Guru of Guydom. I will never tell you that I have all the rules you need to know about men. And I would caution you to be suspicious of anyone who claims to have such rules. Every person is different, and every relationship a brand new one that’s never been experienced before. We cannot start setting blanket rules about the opposite sex because we simply cannot anticipate all the possible behaviors of every single man or every single woman in the world. We just have to enjoy each new relationship for the unpredictable ride that it is.
Evidently, my friend has been with guys whom she expressed an interest in early on, but then who lost interest in her. Her experience tells her to proceed with caution the next time she gets involved with someone. Fair enough. For my part, some of the most wonderful relationships I’ve been in progressed very quickly, while some of my worst relationships progressed at a gut-wrenching snail’s pace. My own experience tells me that if the sparks don’t fly on the first date, I should give up right off the bat.
So who’s right? The answer is, we both are. Our past experiences shape our current behaviors, so we definitely need to remember and learn from them. But, learning from our past experiences does not mean that we let them bind and confine us. To that end, my friend shouldn’t rule out the possibility that she might still meet someone and fall instantly in love someday. And I shouldn’t rule out the possibility that I might meet someone today and fall in love 10 years later.
Our greatest fallacy would be to assume that how it’s been in the past for us is how it’s always going to be for everyone. So, the next time I have a rough first date, I might be inclined to give her another shot… even if it’s with some hesitation. And the next time my friend hooks up with someone on the first date, he might actually be interested… although she should understandably be wary that he’s playing her.
Having said all that, I have a secret to tell you. As it turns out, I do *wink wink* have the full set of rules that govern every man and woman in the world. And since I’m still on a quest to purchase numerous island nations, I have a book to sell you. It breaks down all the known personality and dating types and assigns one simple rule guaranteed to work specifically for that type. The working title is… hmmm, let’s see… current world population… some quick math….
Okay, yes, it’s called, Six Billion Simple Rules Guaranteed to Help You Find the “One”!
I’m not sure when it’ll be ready, though. I keep having to update it every few seconds.