Musings on Life and Love

The status update. The tweet. By whatever name the latest social networking site calls it, it’s how we all keep in touch nowadays.

Unfortunately, some people just don’t seem to understand the process, posting updates that are completely inane or completely inappropriate.

If you suspect that you might be such a person, then I am here to help you out. The next time you have a potential comment you’d like to post, just follow these simple steps:

First, read through each criterion below, and score points as noted. Then, tally up your results. If your final tally is above 0 points, post away! If your final tally is below 0 points… mmmm, yeah, you might want to go ahead and rethink the comment.

Okay, here we go:

1.      The comment has something to do with a stroke of luck you just had: +2 points

2.      The comment has something to do with a stroke of genius you just had: +10 points

3.      The comment has something to do with a stroke you just had: +30 points

4a.    The comment has something to do with your last medical visit: +3 points

4b.    Your last medical visit was to a proctologist or gynecologist: –10 points

5a.    The comment has something to do with a bodily function: –5 points

5b.    Your last bodily function was performed accidentally: –10 points Read more…