Musings on Life and Love

The status update. The tweet. By whatever name the latest social networking site calls it, it’s how we all keep in touch nowadays.

Unfortunately, some people just don’t seem to understand the process, posting updates that are completely inane or completely inappropriate.

If you suspect that you might be such a person, then I am here to help you out. The next time you have a potential comment you’d like to post, just follow these simple steps:

First, read through each criterion below, and score points as noted. Then, tally up your results. If your final tally is above 0 points, post away! If your final tally is below 0 points… mmmm, yeah, you might want to go ahead and rethink the comment.

Okay, here we go:

1.      The comment has something to do with a stroke of luck you just had: +2 points

2.      The comment has something to do with a stroke of genius you just had: +10 points

3.      The comment has something to do with a stroke you just had: +30 points

4a.    The comment has something to do with your last medical visit: +3 points

4b.    Your last medical visit was to a proctologist or gynecologist: –10 points

5a.    The comment has something to do with a bodily function: –5 points

5b.    Your last bodily function was performed accidentally: –10 points Read more…

Image by Clipart.com

Nowadays, guys don’t even have to ask for girls’ phone numbers anymore. We just look you up on Facebook! Unfortunately, some of you still get annoyed when you get asked out online. So, in the spirit of opening the lines of communication, here are the top ten reasons we’d rather use Facebook to ask you out, instead of doing so over the phone or in person:

10. Our Facebook photo is the one photo in existence where we look halfway decent, and we’re hoping you were too drunk to remember what we actually look like in real life.

9. We were too drunk to remember what you actually look like in real life, but hey, you look halfway decent in your Facebook photo!

8. 200 million users on Facebook. Somebody out there’s gotta like us.
Read more…