Musings on Life and Love

Photo by Ed Yourdon

A few months ago, I posted some easy ways to make your relationship stronger. They were simple and not too taxing, right?  But now it’s time to talk about those dreadful things like:

• Introspection
• Personal responsibility
• Seeing past your own anger

Yikes! How un-fun is that? Because, really, how can anyone be expected to do these things when our partner is clearly in the wrong? Hmm, maybe it’s better to see beyond the need to be right and look at how to work out differences?

1.  Don’t be jealous, and if you are, own it. You may not like what I’m going to say, but look at sexy people. They are all around us. On TV, on the street, in the workplace. The day after our wedding, my husband and I took a walk on Mission Beach before we met up with the rest of our friends and family for the post-wedding events. Suddenly, this model-chick with literally the most perfect butt roller-bladed past us. All butts should aspire to look this good. And I know mine does not. But he was still holding my hand, and we had a nice little banter about the perfectness of what had just skated by.

Love yourself enough to know that, despite the fact that we are surrounded by good-looking people, you still have someone who loves you for who you are. Love and trust your partner enough to know that looking is simply that. Looking. Read more…

Image by Paul Watson

“They make it look so easy,” or “I bet they never fight,” or my favorite, “she has the perfect guy.” We’ve all said that, right? Well, let’s get a few things straight:

1. Relationships are not easy.

2. Everyone fights, it’s normal and healthy, and it actually makes your relationship stronger.

3. No one has the perfect guy (or girl).

Now that that’s out there, let me say a few warm-fuzzy things before I completely dash everyone’s hopes of finding a perfect match. I’m married, and I’m really happy being married. If I’m meeting my husband in a bar (yes, we still go to bars) and I see him across the room, my heart still gives an extra little pitter-patter. Even after being together for ten years, I still have a giant crush on him.

So how is it possible to be happy when faced with the tough truth that relationships are not easy? Well, if you make an honest effort to respect and communicate with your partner (and follow my handy-dandy hints), things start to feel less like work and become part of normal habits. And, dare I say, “easy?”

But what does that statement really mean, and how do you do it? Read more…

Image by Clipart.com

Have you ever come home after a night of partying, only to discover to your horror that you have an agonizingly visible piece of food stuck between your teeth? Or, worse yet, a gigantic booger floating inside your nostril, waving back at you in cruel mockery with every breath you take? Have you ever thought to yourself, “why didn’t anyone %@#$’ing tell me?!?”

I recently got back in touch with an old friend, Heather, whom I’ve barely talked to over the past three years. We spent a week or so emailing back and forth and catching up on each other’s lives. As the e-conversation progressed, Heather started telling me all the things that she didn’t like about her current boyfriend, Mike, and basically revealed that she was thinking of breaking up with him.

With a bit of inquisition on my part, she admitted that she already knew she was going to break up with him. She just hadn’t found the right opportunity yet. Even further inquisition on my part (hey, I’m an inquisitive guy) got her to confess that “finding the right opportunity” really meant “mustering up the courage.” No additional inquisition was necessary for me to figure out that many of Heather’s friends were already aware of her intentions. Read more…