(Almost) Over You

There it was, at the bottom of the tan purse I never wear: a grocery list from another life. Toothpaste Frozen dinners Diet Coke Ice cream Cheez-Its Oatmeal cookies I haven’t thought of buying Cheez-Its or oatmeal cookies since the day I moved out of your house. This list was pre-breakup. A year ago, finding this list would have been

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Breaking Up Is Hard… For Your Friends, Too!

When my friend is going through a breakup, it becomes my personal mission to mend her figurative heart. The quantity of chocolate ice cream at the supermarket diminishes noticeably. The local Blockbuster’s angry-girl-loses-guy-but-then-meets-even-cuter-one genre experiences a huge spike in rentals. I have all the right tools to combat my friend’s newly acquired depression…. Except the verbal skills. Some people are

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Talk To Us: If you're trying to get over a breakup, what's the worst thing a friend can say to you in an attempt to make you feel better?

Reader Jaberkaty made a great suggestion for an article: What can friends and family do when someone close to them is going through a bad breakup? Honestly, I don’t have the answers, and I doubt that any single person can. So, this might be the perfect opportunity to get some reader feedback…. For those of you who’ve been through a

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The Progression Of A Breakup

We get lots of generic advice when we break up. “You’ll get through it.” “You’re better off.” “Don’t worry, you’ll find the One.” But no one ever tells us how to get through the pain, the loneliness, the emptiness. Whether the breakup is mutual, shocking, brutal, or civil, it sucks. So what do we do? Blast “I Will Survive” until

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In Search Of Certainty

As the cliché generalizes so succinctly, breaking up is hard to do. Especially when you don’t know if it’s the right decision…. I would like to announce that I just experienced the most civil breakup in the annals of breakups. Seriously, if Gandhi and Mother Theresa had been an estranged couple, they wouldn’t have done a better job. It was

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The Bane Of Friendship

Friendship. It’s so many wonderful things. It’s caring. It’s affection. It’s laughter and inside jokes. It’s also the last bastion of the freshly dumped. After all, how many breakup conversations include the phrase, “can we just be friends?” So why do we go along with such a “request”? Are we that desperate? Do we get so attached that we’re willing

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The Cursable Case Of The Sneak-A-Break

The sneak-a-break is the ultimate indulgence of the chronically passive-aggressive. It’s the Red Ryder carbine-action, two-hundred-shot range model on the Christmas list of cowardice. The sneak-a-break occurs when the person you’re dating wants to break up, but instead of using a backbone, manipulates you into doing the breakup. The human fillet accomplishes this by turning antagonistic, needy, petty, pernicious, surly, edgy, sleazy, queasy, tipsy, dizzy, remorseful, or whatever it takes to drive you away.

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Talk To Us: Have you ever been manipulated into breaking up with someone?

Have you ever dated someone whose personality suddenly and inexplicably changes? Someone who transforms from laid-back and easy-going to difficult and argumentative, seemingly without reason? Or someone who goes from caring and available to cold and distanced in the blink of an eye? If you have, there’s a good chance that you were the victim of what I call a

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The Ex Factor

When I broke up with the last guy I was dating, I tried to be polite about it. I told him he was nice, cute and fantastic—and he replied with a low blow about my “lack of stability.” Eww. He hurt my feelings, especially since I had tried to be amiable. I reacted by doing what I swore I would

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Dump As I Say, Not As I Do

I felt complete awe when one of my best friends in college, who’d had a distant crush on a law student we referred to as Tattoo Boy, actually went home with him one night after a random encounter in a bar. I was less thrilled when she told me how he’d said good-bye the next morning: “Call me. My number

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