Talk To Us: If you're trying to get over a breakup, what's the worst thing a friend can say to you in an attempt to make you feel better?

Reader Jaberkaty made a great suggestion for an article: What can friends and family do when someone close to them is going through a bad breakup? Honestly, I don’t have the answers, and I doubt that any single person can. So, this might be the perfect opportunity to get some reader feedback…. For those of you who’ve been through a

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My Absolute Dealbreaker

Now that I’m single again, I’m trying to retrain myself to do the dating dance. I went on a first date recently, and the evening was pretty much a conversational ballet, the two of us daintily tiptoeing around each other with loaded questions and politically correct answers in an effort to figure out if we might actually like the other person. That night, I stumbled upon a Mega-Dealbreaker. One that superseded all the lesser, mere mortal dealbreakers. Within the rabid pack of dealbreakers frothing in my head, this one quickly established itself as the Alpha:

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The Progression Of A Breakup

We get lots of generic advice when we break up. “You’ll get through it.” “You’re better off.” “Don’t worry, you’ll find the One.” But no one ever tells us how to get through the pain, the loneliness, the emptiness. Whether the breakup is mutual, shocking, brutal, or civil, it sucks. So what do we do? Blast “I Will Survive” until

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The Truth About "The One"

I have been happily married for two years to a man I know is not the One. Why? I do not believe there is such a thing as the One. The One is just a myth perpetuated by the media. Am I to believe that there is one person out there for me? One person to be my other half, to make my life complete, to spend forever with? Yeah, right!

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Pursuing Your Perfect 10

My friend has embarked on the noble journey of making himself into the “Perfect 10.” He figures that if he wants to date a woman he considers the ultimate match, he himself needs to be a perfect 10. Everyone has their own idea of who their optimal mate is. My friend wants someone who is confident, sexual, financially-stable and many

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Intellect Required

A friend and I were recently discussing her breakup when she said something I’d been thinking for at least a year now. “I feel kind of like a bad person,” she started, “but is it too much to ask to want to date a guy who meets a certain intelligence requirement?” My answer: absolutely not. Now, my friend’s ex wasn’t

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In Search Of Certainty

As the cliché generalizes so succinctly, breaking up is hard to do. Especially when you don’t know if it’s the right decision…. I would like to announce that I just experienced the most civil breakup in the annals of breakups. Seriously, if Gandhi and Mother Theresa had been an estranged couple, they wouldn’t have done a better job. It was

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The Bane Of Friendship

Friendship. It’s so many wonderful things. It’s caring. It’s affection. It’s laughter and inside jokes. It’s also the last bastion of the freshly dumped. After all, how many breakup conversations include the phrase, “can we just be friends?” So why do we go along with such a “request”? Are we that desperate? Do we get so attached that we’re willing

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Should You Post That Status Update?

The status update. The tweet. By whatever name the latest social networking site calls it, it’s how we all keep in touch nowadays. Unfortunately, some people just don’t seem to understand the process, posting updates that are completely inane or completely inappropriate. If you suspect that you might be such a person, then I am here to help you out.

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Romance And Fairy Tale Syndrome

From an early age, we are bombarded with messages of romance and fairytale endings. Disney has this down to a science. From Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty to Snow White and Ariel, our heads are filled with the idea that someday our prince will come, there will be a “foot-popping” kiss, and we’ll live in happily-ever-after bliss. After many frogs kissed, we may start to wonder, “where is my prince?”

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That Guy Was My Friend, Part 1

To all these random people walking down Fourth Avenue on this random Tuesday afternoon, he was just some motorist they read about in the paper. He was some unlucky guy who had a run-in with the cops. He was a footnote, a statistic, on a simmering issue of police brutality. As far as these people were concerned, he was simply “that guy who got shot.” But to me, he was a friend.

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Defensive Un-Kissing

We were restless, only a minute left until lunch. The teacher’s voice accelerated over the din of whispers and backpack zippers, like a stereo with a broken volume-control dial. Finally, the bell rang and everyone rushed for the door. My new boyfriend and I gazed at each other across the room, eager to take each other’s hand. I was both

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