Intellect Required

A friend and I were recently discussing her breakup when she said something I’d been thinking for at least a year now. “I feel kind of like a bad person,” she started, “but is it too much to ask to want to date a guy who meets a certain intelligence requirement?” My answer: absolutely not. Now, my friend’s ex wasn’t

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In Search Of Certainty

As the cliché generalizes so succinctly, breaking up is hard to do. Especially when you don’t know if it’s the right decision…. I would like to announce that I just experienced the most civil breakup in the annals of breakups. Seriously, if Gandhi and Mother Theresa had been an estranged couple, they wouldn’t have done a better job. It was

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The Bane Of Friendship

Friendship. It’s so many wonderful things. It’s caring. It’s affection. It’s laughter and inside jokes. It’s also the last bastion of the freshly dumped. After all, how many breakup conversations include the phrase, “can we just be friends?” So why do we go along with such a “request”? Are we that desperate? Do we get so attached that we’re willing

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Should You Post That Status Update?

The status update. The tweet. By whatever name the latest social networking site calls it, it’s how we all keep in touch nowadays. Unfortunately, some people just don’t seem to understand the process, posting updates that are completely inane or completely inappropriate. If you suspect that you might be such a person, then I am here to help you out.

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Romance And Fairy Tale Syndrome

From an early age, we are bombarded with messages of romance and fairytale endings. Disney has this down to a science. From Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty to Snow White and Ariel, our heads are filled with the idea that someday our prince will come, there will be a “foot-popping” kiss, and we’ll live in happily-ever-after bliss. After many frogs kissed, we may start to wonder, “where is my prince?”

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That Guy Was My Friend, Part 1

To all these random people walking down Fourth Avenue on this random Tuesday afternoon, he was just some motorist they read about in the paper. He was some unlucky guy who had a run-in with the cops. He was a footnote, a statistic, on a simmering issue of police brutality. As far as these people were concerned, he was simply “that guy who got shot.” But to me, he was a friend.

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Defensive Un-Kissing

We were restless, only a minute left until lunch. The teacher’s voice accelerated over the din of whispers and backpack zippers, like a stereo with a broken volume-control dial. Finally, the bell rang and everyone rushed for the door. My new boyfriend and I gazed at each other across the room, eager to take each other’s hand. I was both

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Are You Annoying?

We humans have this innate desire to classify things. We like to pigeonhole each other and make snap judgments. We segregate into extroverts versus introverts. Right-brains versus left-brains. Movers versus shakers, crazy-haha versus crazy-cuckoo, innies versus outies, prongs versus sockets. We have Rorschachs and Kierseys and Meyers and countless ways to catalog each other. Even online dating sites have started pinning their matches on personality typecasting.

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Surprise! She Has A Kid. Now What?

The scene is familiar: I’m at a party chatting with a group of friends. Gradually, we draw in the nearby group of guys, and before long, I’m amiably discussing quantum physics or artificial intelligence or some other topic I’m completely unqualified to have any opinion on (but do, anyways). Then, the conversation turns personal: what do you do, where do

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Butterflies

I don’t think a romantic relationship can succeed without those butterflies, without feelings of excitement and quick heart beats. Yet, having feelings for a person is no guarantee there’s a chance for a romantic relationship either, even when the feelings are mutual.

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The Cursable Case Of The Sneak-A-Break

The sneak-a-break is the ultimate indulgence of the chronically passive-aggressive. It’s the Red Ryder carbine-action, two-hundred-shot range model on the Christmas list of cowardice. The sneak-a-break occurs when the person you’re dating wants to break up, but instead of using a backbone, manipulates you into doing the breakup. The human fillet accomplishes this by turning antagonistic, needy, petty, pernicious, surly, edgy, sleazy, queasy, tipsy, dizzy, remorseful, or whatever it takes to drive you away.

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