The Day I Realized I’m A Bad Boy

I watched the well-dressed Casanova over the brim of my beverage, contemplating the best way to cause him pain. I was already halfway through my ninja-assassin routine, in which I dispatch him with a swift blow to the balls. Naturally, the women he was entertaining with his ridiculously good looks would then swoon at my wondrous technique …. A rude voice

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Seeking Perfection By Being Imperfect

“No, this dress isn’t right,” my daughter exclaims. I want to roll my eyes. Instead, I smile and say, “Hmmm, I like it.” The Prom is approaching, and the dress debacle has begun. Clamoring for the perfect dress is our immediate mission, but seeking perfection is an ongoing issue. Hair, clothes, boyfriends, grades–perfection is the goal. Looking at my daughter

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I’m Still Learning How To Say No

Warning: The following article contains possible triggers for victims of sexual assault. I’ve never been good at confrontation. When I’m alone, I argue like a pro. When there’s nobody to cut me off, I put everybody in their place. When I’m lying in bed, thinking about what I wish I’d said, I make flawless points that win every argument. I’m

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Dear Politics: Please Pick Your Battles

Years ago, whenever my mom deemed it necessary to declare war on someone I or my sister was dating, she would execute a pretty ambitious—though usually ineffective—battle plan. Her strategy? To “prove” the person wasn’t right for us by systematically pointing out every last imperfection this person might have. If character assassination is what you do when you want to

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The Boy Who Only Wanted One Thing

Theatre is sexy. Backstage is dimly lit, with the subtle glow of the onstage lights streaming through the dust of the wooden flats. There are dark corners and pre-determined soundless moments. It’s hot, too. Heat-hot from the lights, and sex-hot from the right chemistry and synchronicity. Give a couple of prepubescent teens two-and-a-half hours with minimal supervision off-stage, and the

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