Comments for Musings on Life and Love

Comment on There’s No Crying The Second Time Around by KaPau!

KaPau! — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 17:11:00 +0000

…ohhhh..and I simply have to say, I’m *still* giggling at Jason’s reference to “Say Anything”:-)~~

Comment on There’s No Crying The Second Time Around by KaPau!

KaPau! — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 17:07:23 +0000

Dennis:):) Yes, that “OMG, I’m just a schmuck” feeling the 2nd time around is almost worse than the 2nd heartbreak itself…and it’s not that I’m a prideful person per se, but geeeshhh..it feels stupid, times FIFTY!! I’ve been in this very place you describe, embarrassingly so even…so should you ever be here again, I’ll certainly offer you my sympathy….I’ll go through #2 for friends bc I believe in second chances (no matter how stupid they may turn out to be)….I’ll give you all the way to #3 before instilling the tough love/wtf were u thinking sermon!

Comment on Love’s Greatest Irony by Dennis Hong

Dennis Hong — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:59:41 +0000

Yeah, we’re a bunch of weirdos, aren’t we? But hey, you female types aren’t much better. ;-)

Comment on Love’s Greatest Irony by KaPau!

KaPau! — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:54:44 +0000

Wow Dennis….I really do have to chew on this one for awhile! It’s a totally different perspective than I’ve ever realized or contemplated!! …I grow curiouser and curiouser about the male species:)

Comment on In Defense Of The Friend Zone by Dennis Hong

Dennis Hong — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:53:34 +0000

I can really only answer for myself here, so take this with a grain of salt….

I like to maintain different levels of friendships. I consider myself to have lots of good acquaintances, but I don’t really have too many close friends (i.e., people I hang out with on a regular basis; people I don’t only see at group outings and parties and whatnot,; people I have deep, serious 1-on-1 conversations with).

As such, I have quite a few good acquaintances of the opposite sex whom I’m not particularly attracted to and whose pants I will likely never try to get into.

However, the women I get close enough to to call a good friend… yes, I will generally be interested in more than just friendship.

So, to answer your question then, KP… yes, I would take the time to cultivate a good acquaintance with someone I don’t find attractive. But, I doubt I’d take the time to cultivate a close friendship with someone I don’t find attractive.

Comment on In Defense Of The Friend Zone by KaPau!

KaPau! — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:34:35 +0000

Meg….I love this!! So true…Often I’d *prefer* to hang with a guy friend than a date for the very reasons you describe! …but I find I’m often inevitably in some kinda “Harry and Sally” thing… Or although you’ve established boundaries, they sometimes think there’s more to it…or worse even, they are hoping there will be…in spite of saying things like, ahhh, this is my bestest buddy, Sam.. or Hey Sam, you and Tiffany would make a TERRIFIC couple!, sometimes just trying to re-affirm the friendship boundaries…
Then like Dennis mentioned, there’s the drunken “make out”… yeah, I’ve done that when I really wasn’t interested in *that* way. I know it’s inexcusable…and blurs the line. Geesh, sometimes it’s just fun to make out with someone “safe”, but I have to say most every “best guy pal”(truthfully,”ALL” is safe to say here) I’ve ever had has at some point tried to get in my pants. Typically, I’ll laugh this off as a drunken thing but it starts me quietly questioning if the friendship is truly a friendship…or if the guy’s hanging around in the hopes of someday actually making it into my pants…
Again, it goes back to the Harry and Sally thing…can men and women ever *really* (and truly)be just friends? Do men take the time to cultivate these friendships with women they don’t find at all attractive? (please forgive the sexist-sounding question…just my personal experience talking here)

Comment on Making The Case For The Single Guy by Julie Hartley

Julie Hartley — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 14:36:27 +0000

Oh, and great article, DB :)

Comment on Making The Case For The Single Guy by Julie Hartley

Julie Hartley — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 14:36:07 +0000

I see where people are coming from when they say sometimes you’re just setting a woman up for heartbreak, but I don’t think that’s really your fault. You’re as honest with them as possible, and the only other thing you could do to prevent it would be to be an ass to them and treat them like dirt ;) And, hey, even then that might not work.

Out of curiosity, if you see someone getting too attached, do you gently let them down and stop seeing them? Like, if you’ve made it clear you don’t want a relationship and they want you to meet their entire family, or even something more innocent that shows she’s not in the same place you are, is that grounds for dismissal?

Comment on In Defense Of The Friend Zone by Dennis Hong

Dennis Hong — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 09:59:54 +0000

No, of course not. That’s being murkily opaque.

Comment on The Ex Factor by Meg Pierce

Meg Pierce — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 09:35:29 +0000

So, is it just me or does anyone else get a strange sense of victory when 8 months after an unfriendly break up with someone they drunk text you about how much they miss certain awesome aspects of the relationship. Especially when you don’t recognize the number and have to ask, “Who is this?”