The Curse Of The Red Flag

I just went to a friend’s wedding. Instead of jumping for joy that someone else was joining the club, though, my husband and I found ourselves thinking, “oh, no. They have no idea what they are in for.” I shouldn’t be such a pessimist. This particular couple is incredibly compatible. But, there have been a string of divorces in my

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The Ex-Girlfriend Speaks Up

Yes, folks, here she is. The inspiration for countless posts, the coiner of the term Sneak-a-Date, and clearly the person with the smallest ego on this blog. The one, the only, Katie! Except, I guess technically with Dennis, there were two Katies. Anyway. I was the first, and I think that should count for something. Now, I realize that all

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Why Monogamy Is A Myth

When it comes to sexuality, many people believe that humans are unique in the animal kingdom: we feel love, we’re psychologically complex, we form long-term monogamous bonds. Well, science calls shenanigans on our idealism. According to scientists, the similarities we find between animals and humans actually reveal some of our most basic instincts, and monogamy isn’t necessarily one of them.

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The Progression Of A Breakup

We get lots of generic advice when we break up. “You’ll get through it.” “You’re better off.” “Don’t worry, you’ll find the One.” But no one ever tells us how to get through the pain, the loneliness, the emptiness. Whether the breakup is mutual, shocking, brutal, or civil, it sucks. So what do we do? Blast “I Will Survive” until

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The Truth About "The One"

I have been happily married for two years to a man I know is not the One. Why? I do not believe there is such a thing as the One. The One is just a myth perpetuated by the media. Am I to believe that there is one person out there for me? One person to be my other half, to make my life complete, to spend forever with? Yeah, right!

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Pursuing Your Perfect 10

My friend has embarked on the noble journey of making himself into the “Perfect 10.” He figures that if he wants to date a woman he considers the ultimate match, he himself needs to be a perfect 10. Everyone has their own idea of who their optimal mate is. My friend wants someone who is confident, sexual, financially-stable and many

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In Search Of Certainty

As the cliché generalizes so succinctly, breaking up is hard to do. Especially when you don’t know if it’s the right decision…. I would like to announce that I just experienced the most civil breakup in the annals of breakups. Seriously, if Gandhi and Mother Theresa had been an estranged couple, they wouldn’t have done a better job. It was

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The Bane Of Friendship

Friendship. It’s so many wonderful things. It’s caring. It’s affection. It’s laughter and inside jokes. It’s also the last bastion of the freshly dumped. After all, how many breakup conversations include the phrase, “can we just be friends?” So why do we go along with such a “request”? Are we that desperate? Do we get so attached that we’re willing

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Romance And Fairy Tale Syndrome

From an early age, we are bombarded with messages of romance and fairytale endings. Disney has this down to a science. From Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty to Snow White and Ariel, our heads are filled with the idea that someday our prince will come, there will be a “foot-popping” kiss, and we’ll live in happily-ever-after bliss. After many frogs kissed, we may start to wonder, “where is my prince?”

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Butterflies

I don’t think a romantic relationship can succeed without those butterflies, without feelings of excitement and quick heart beats. Yet, having feelings for a person is no guarantee there’s a chance for a romantic relationship either, even when the feelings are mutual.

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Let’s Work It Out

Writing is a funny thing. The simple act of sitting down in front of a computer to put a few thoughts into print can lead nearly anywhere and sometimes to extraordinary revelations. For example, I stayed up late one night to compose a few paragraphs for a woman I was flirting with, and by the time all was said and

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