As a bisexual woman, I already contend with stigmas concerning my sexuality. Bisexual individuals are often “branded as greedy or illegitimate or it’s claimed that those who identify this way are merely in flux before settling at one end of the hetero/homo binary.” These stereotypes have thankfully waned some in recent years, especially with more and more people, including celebrities, coming out as bisexual. Evan Rachel Wood, one of my biggest idols, opened up to Marie Claire about her sexuality, saying, “I can’t say I’m one way or the other because I’ve honestly fallen in love with a man and I’ve honestly fallen in love with a woman. I don’t know how you label that, it’s just how it is.” I was like, hell yes! Maybe mainstream America will finally get it.
“This can’t be right,” I mutter to myself.
I put my pen down to breathe. I am in serious need of oxygen here. Seeing all of this in list form makes my bleak situation look even worse. I’m turning 30 next week. 30!
What am I doing with my life? I don’t have a job. My boyfriend broke up with me over the phone a month ago, and I cry every time that song by Gotye, “Somebody That I Used To Know,” comes on the radio….Read more
Do you know what happens when you take sex and make it public? You get porn – stuff that people who aren’t getting enough sex drool over, and stuff that people who are sexually fulfilled smirk at, because they know how unrealistic it is.
Similarly, do you know what happens when you take a proposal and make it public? You get engagement porn – stuff that people who aren’t happy with their own relationships drool over, and stuff that people in fulfilling relationships smirk at, because they know how unrealistic it is.
Not that there’s anything wrong with porn.Read more
As a piece of trivia, the original script actually called for Han to reply, “I love you, too.” However, Harrison Ford didn’t feel that Han, the swashbuckling, fearless bad boy, would ever say something so mushy. So he came up with “I know” on the spot, and romantic history was made.
Of course, as a seven-year-old boy, I wasn’t aware of this subtext. I wasn’t aware of the attitude that Han’s response represented. I just figured that he was expressing love the way men are supposed to express love.Read more
A few years ago, on a rare, non-sweltering summer evening in the sandhills of North Carolina, my husband and I sat on our back deck with a couple of grilled steaks and a couple of micro brews, watching our dogs play in the yard and talking wistfully about our hopes and our dreams. Actually…. I talked about my hopes and my dreams, while JustinRead more
One of the reasons I married my ex-husband is because I saw how he took care of his mother when she was sick. He not only quit his first major job out of college to move to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota with her for three months to take care of her (he was an only child, and sheRead more
Theatre is sexy. Backstage is dimly lit, with the subtle glow of the onstage lights streaming through the dust of the wooden flats. There are dark corners and pre-determined soundless moments. It’s hot, too. Heat-hot from the lights, and sex-hot from the right chemistry and synchronicity. Give a couple of prepubescent teens two-and-a-half hours with minimal supervision off-stage, and theRead more
There it was, at the bottom of the tan purse I never wear: a grocery list from another life. Toothpaste Frozen dinners Diet Coke Ice cream Cheez-Its Oatmeal cookies I haven’t thought of buying Cheez-Its or oatmeal cookies since the day I moved out of your house. This list was pre-breakup. A year ago, finding this list would have beenRead more
I am a stoic. In a new relationship, I tend to stay reserved and guarded. I hold back my feelings, and I definitely don’t let myself fall for someone very easily. At least not until I know for sure that the relationship means something. Some people, on the other hand, are effusive. In a new relationship, they plunge head-first offRead more
There’s a book out there entitled He’s Just Not That Into You. You’ve probably heard of it. I once read that book from cover to cover because I needed something to make me laugh while giving me insight into why I let my last relationship die. I was hoping something in there would explain how a relationship that had startedRead more
In my dream, she’s my best friend, and I am hers. Whenever I get a piece of great news in my life, she’s the first person I want to tell. Whenever something stressful happens, she’s the first person I think of who can comfort me. I hope to be the same for her. In my dream, she’s the first personRead more
Time magazine recently published two articles discussing new studies regarding sexual satisfaction, marriage and infidelity. While Time played up the “groundbreaking” nature of the results, I was not surprised. Shortly after my wedding, I came to the conclusion that sex is probably the most important aspect of marriage. That revelation wasn’t the result of any sexual dysfunction in my relationship, butRead more
I am a very effusive person. For instance, I love sushi. I love my rare lazy afternoons when I get to read a book on the couch. I love Harry Potter (the books, not the movies). I love our barber in the small Italian town where we live. I love my dogs. I love my friends. I love my parents.Read more
“I’m 95 percent positive that we’ll be canceling the wedding, and I wanted to see if we could get our deposit back,” I wrote that April day. This was the wedding venue for which I’d searched for months, the address that was printed eloquently on the invitations that were going out in just one week. This is where, in threeRead more
When people hear I’m engaged, the most common question they ask is, “How’s the wedding planning going?” This question usually leads right into the second most common question: “So, are you going to let your fiance have a bachelor party?” This, my chiropractor just asked me, as he was cracking my back and popping my bones back into place lastRead more
Imagine the scene…. A balmy February evening with a luxurious yacht skimming along the water. On board are couples in love. To surprise Jane, John has two tickets for this Valentine’s Day moonlit cruise around the harbor. On the drive to the dock, John remains tight lipped, frustrating Jane. She anxiously clutches the bouquet of her favorite flowers, wondering whatRead more
I met Ramona in Vegas. We only spent a couple hours together the night we met. Yet, neither of us had ever connected so deeply with another human being in such a short period of time. We didn’t even have an actual conversation until I called her a few weeks later. I was so nervous, I felt like I wasRead more
Clyde and I are getting married. This means I’ve suddenly turned into a wedding planner. In case you’ve never gone through this process before, allow me to say that it’s a special kind of pain. Fellas, be prepared to see a whole ‘nother side of the woman you love enough to hand over a small mountain of cash in returnRead more
So, maybe that’s how it really works:
Women get over their exes by not having sex with them. Because sex involves those creepy love hormones for women.
And men get over their exes by not talking intimately with them. Because talking involves those creepy love hormones for men.Read more
I’ve never been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. Yes, I always said that back in the days when I was perpetually single. But surprisingly, my take on the whole thing didn’t really change after finding myself in a serious relationship, then engaged, then married. The cheesy cards, the naked Cupid butts, the hearts… oh god, the hearts. I abhor hearts. AnyoneRead more