Musings on Life and Love

Image by Catzrule99 via Flickr

It finally happened. Maybe it was when you were giving her your best “come hither” look, as her eyes and the merlot twinkled in the candlelight. Or perhaps you were out for a stroll, and she leaned into you as the wind blew her hair. Or better yet, maybe you were lazing in bed on Sunday morning, too blissful to dress. And then she said it.

“I’ve bought us tickets for a show.” And she’s not talking about the topless kind in Vegas.

She means a Broadway show, gentlemen.

There’s going to be singing,  dancing, and most likely, a lot of angst. If I may speak in gross generalities, women tend to get really fired up about musical theatre, while men (though they might not hate it) can probably think of better things to do on a Saturday night. Personally, I love going to the theatre, and the more singing about inner turmoil, the better. Yes, it’s unbelievable to burst into song, but we suspend reality all the time when watching television or films. For me, the music takes the emotion of the situation up a notch. It’s art at its finest, a beautiful marriage of story and sound.

But I digress. I’m not here to sell anyone on musical theatre. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. That being said, when presented with show tickets, be aware! The secrets of the female mind are hidden in music, harmonies, and plot-driven-lyrics. Never fear, for all will be revealed to you over the two- to three-hour course of the show (plus intermission).

However, in case you find it a bit difficult to follow the show’s plot and decipher the secrets of the female mind, I humbly present the hidden secrets in some popular musicals: Read more…

Photo by Ed Yourdon

A few months ago, I posted some easy ways to make your relationship stronger. They were simple and not too taxing, right?  But now it’s time to talk about those dreadful things like:

• Introspection
• Personal responsibility
• Seeing past your own anger

Yikes! How un-fun is that? Because, really, how can anyone be expected to do these things when our partner is clearly in the wrong? Hmm, maybe it’s better to see beyond the need to be right and look at how to work out differences?

1.  Don’t be jealous, and if you are, own it. You may not like what I’m going to say, but look at sexy people. They are all around us. On TV, on the street, in the workplace. The day after our wedding, my husband and I took a walk on Mission Beach before we met up with the rest of our friends and family for the post-wedding events. Suddenly, this model-chick with literally the most perfect butt roller-bladed past us. All butts should aspire to look this good. And I know mine does not. But he was still holding my hand, and we had a nice little banter about the perfectness of what had just skated by.

Love yourself enough to know that, despite the fact that we are surrounded by good-looking people, you still have someone who loves you for who you are. Love and trust your partner enough to know that looking is simply that. Looking. Read more…

We were restless, only a minute left until lunch. The teacher’s voice accelerated over the din of whispers and backpack zippers, like a stereo with a broken volume-control dial. Finally, the bell rang and everyone rushed for the door. My new boyfriend and I gazed at each other across the room, eager to take each other’s hand. I was both giddy and nervous, and finally part of the 9^th grade elite, now that I had a boyfriend.

Rick was tall, funny, cute, and liked by all. When he put his arm around me, my heart sped up. I’m pretty sure there were butterflies living in my stomach. This was cool, right? All the cool girls had boyfriends. My new boyfriend had surely elevated my geek status to solid nerd.

We sat on the planters in the quad, our faces snuggled close. Wow, we’re really close. Seriously, are those butterflies or elephants? And then he leaned in, his lips nervously edging towards mine. My heart raced faster. This is it, my first kiss, here we go… Read more…

Image by Paul Watson

“They make it look so easy,” or “I bet they never fight,” or my favorite, “she has the perfect guy.” We’ve all said that, right? Well, let’s get a few things straight:

1. Relationships are not easy.

2. Everyone fights, it’s normal and healthy, and it actually makes your relationship stronger.

3. No one has the perfect guy (or girl).

Now that that’s out there, let me say a few warm-fuzzy things before I completely dash everyone’s hopes of finding a perfect match. I’m married, and I’m really happy being married. If I’m meeting my husband in a bar (yes, we still go to bars) and I see him across the room, my heart still gives an extra little pitter-patter. Even after being together for ten years, I still have a giant crush on him.

So how is it possible to be happy when faced with the tough truth that relationships are not easy? Well, if you make an honest effort to respect and communicate with your partner (and follow my handy-dandy hints), things start to feel less like work and become part of normal habits. And, dare I say, “easy?”

But what does that statement really mean, and how do you do it? Read more…