Top Ten Reasons We’d Rather Use Facebook To Ask You Out
Nowadays, guys don’t even have to ask for girls’ phone numbers anymore. We just look you up on Facebook! Unfortunately, some of you still get annoyed when you get asked out online. So, in the spirit of opening the lines of communication, here are the top ten reasons we’d rather use Facebook to ask you out, instead of doing so over the phone or in person:
10. Our Facebook photo is the one photo in existence where we look halfway decent, and we’re hoping you were too drunk to remember what we actually look like in real life.
9. We were too drunk to remember what you actually look like in real life, but hey, you look halfway decent in your Facebook photo!
8. 200 million users on Facebook. Somebody out there’s gotta like us.
7. We’re dyslexic and keep thinking we’re still on Match.com.
6. We’re actually doing you a favor by not putting you on the spot. We’re also giving you time to craft a rejection message that won’t destroy our fragile self esteem. So, make it good!
5. We’re much more charming and witty when we have hours and hours to slave over the best line to use to ask you out. Having said that….
4. This way, we only have to type out our best line once (“Hey there, it was nice meeting you the other night. Holla!!! LOL, maybe we can meet up for a drink sometime. Hit me up if you wanna….”) and then just copy-and-paste it to the ten other girls we’re currently asking out.
3. If we at least get you to add us first, we’ll get to see what hot friends you have. If they’re hot enough, we might not have to ask you out after all.
2. Our girlfriends check our cell phones. Insane jealous bitches! Why can’t they just trust us?!? Oh wait, oh yeah….
And the Number One reason we’d rather use Facebook to ask you out:
1. We misplaced our testicles.
Latest posts by Dennis Hong (see all)
- Struggling In Your Dating Life? Focus On Your Social Skills First - January 15, 2018
- On Pet Tigers And Sexual Assault - December 6, 2017
- By All Means, Use Your Cell Phone At The Dinner Table - November 20, 2017
- Personal Freedom Isn’t A Valid Argument Against Vaccination - May 23, 2016
- Dear Gun Owners, We’re Not So Different - January 11, 2016